Dr Shamender Talwar
Social Welfare
Co-founder & Trustee, The Unity of Faiths Foundation (TUFF) | Social Psychologist | London (UK)
Ancestry:
Sargodha (undivided British India)
Birthplace & Residence:
London (UK)
THE ARCHITECT OF A NEW, KIND WORLD
A social psychologist turned social worker, he made it his life’s mission to ward off the problems of the world with his interesting methods and techniques.
My father, Sham Sunder Talwar, born in Delhi, moved to Liverpool, UK, in 1965, after spending some time in Germany. He worked hard for six years in the administrative sector and then started his business of film distribution. Around this time, he met my Mom, Pramila Devi, a British-born Indian settled in Kenya. But he had to prove himself to get married to the love of his life, which finally happened in 1970. They first welcomed me on 1 July 1971, then my sister, Vandana and nine years later my little brother, Jai Sai Satish.
Dad always taught us that unity meant strength, probably the reason three of us have always been close to each other. I still remember how as kids we’d often pretend to fall sick and stay back home to enjoy a day together. Satish is my best friend till date, while Vandana is my rock of support.
Wisdom from parents lasts a lifetime
Dad has always been my role model. I can proudly say he was a gem of a person, an angel. He taught us that we are born as spiritual beings going through human experiences and should live it to the full. He was an extremely philanthropic. I believe he was visionary; he taught us that there is only one caste: humanity, and only one religion: love. I still remember going to all the places of worship holding Dad’s finger; with him, no one could ever know discrimination. Everyone would come to him for his advice, irrespective of culture, religion, concern or time of day. Since he was well-educated, he helped the immigrants coming into the UK to settle down and get a job. In fact, by 1978, he had set up an Interfaith centre, under the influence of Satya Sai Baba, who I see as my spiritual master. He brought people of different creed and cultures together. Back then, this was a rare move made by anyone. The unity of faiths in action!
Mom, on the other hand, was a disciplinarian. She made sure that we three did everything sincerely. I still remember an incident that has shaped up a lot of who I am today. Some school bullies would often beat me up, which bothered Vandana a lot. She once complained to Mom. A much concerned Mom asked me to stand up to those kids and hit them back. I was stunned to have received such advice and support from her. I fearlessly stood up to my bullies the very next day and slapped a boy across his face. It was a revolutionary moment of my life; it gave me such strength and belief in myself that nothing else could have.
Always follow your calling
I completed schooling at Villiers High School in 1986, after which I joined Regent’s College for graduation. I was always a bright student during my college years and had planned to become a psychologist; my parents too wanted me to excel in the medical field. But since Dad was in the film distribution business, Magma Films, I was fascinated by the entire process and eagerly joined him, leaving my PhD midway.
The life in this business was captivating. Introducing and distributing Hollywood and Bollywood films in the Middle East, I worked with my father for many years at Magma. Could I have declined the opportunity that took me to meet the stars of Gladiator, Mr Bean, Stargate, Bandit Queen and such super hits. Year 1997 was significant for me: I met Jaya, who is from Chandigarh, and we got married in September 1997. Since then my immediate family has grown, how strangers become loved ones. Vandana is married to Akhil and later Sai Satish married Rachel Patel. Both Rachel and Akhil are very close to me. They have beautiful children too, my nieces Sanaya, Sahana and our little angel Lehare.
I couldn’t let go of the thought that Dad dreamt of me as a person who can make the impossible possible, so I went back to complete my doctorate in Psychology. However, just before I became a doctor, Dad lost his life to brain cancer in 2008; along with him died his business. I also didn’t look back at it. Even though he couldn’t see me live his dream during his lifetime, I did take his legacy forward in everything I did.
He always preached and practiced equality and respect. When I joined West London Mental Health as a Social Psychologist, I decided to implement his preaching in the work I do. It was because of him that I was a doctor. Following his ideologies, I began a Life Boards programme at the hospital where patients were not reduced to bed or patient numbers. We installed a board next to their beds with all the particulars of that person, such as their names, likings, preferences, listed there. This would add a personal touch to the treatment and make the patient recover much faster. It was a simple but very powerful psychological step to their recovery. In fact, the Prime Minister of the UK, David Cameron, acknowledged it and made it a national programme. I also gave free advice on many London newspapers for the public on psychological matters.
Heaven is right here on earth
While I was in India in 2010, I met with someone, who after my father, changed my life once again, Anna Bornholt Prior, my true friend. We were struck with the idea of The Unity of Faiths Foundation (TUFF), which we co-founded. We were despondent by the lack of human connection that technology was propagating. We felt the need to fix this issue; the solution has to be something extremely effective and impactful. We came up with the idea to empower the youth through festivals, sports, art, leisure to learn human values, tolerance, integration, gender equality and such necessary ideas. We realised that if everyone took the responsibility of taking care of each other and accepting without discrimination as Dad did, the world could be a paradise. And thus, we used unique methods to educate children about the right values. Today, we have centres in the UK, Iceland, India, Belgium and Australia.
Our mission is to make TUFF an integral part of the curriculum in every school. World leaders like President Barack Obama, President of Iceland Guðni Thorlacius Jóhannesson and HH Pope Francis are supporters and patrons, with HM the Queen having acknowledged the foundation. Personalities like Diego Maradona and Jackie Chan are our great supporters too. TUFF has another interesting aspect to it. The children whom we have supported through the programme said that the world is facing some tough times so it needs to be tough too, and they live in TUFF estates so they were the TUFF kids, and called us the Gatekeepers of Unity. The organisation was awarded the Pride of Britain award for integrating youth from all walks of life through sport and arts. I was honoured as the British-Indian of the Year in 2016. In any country that invites us, people not only embrace TUFF me, but also and treat us as their family. Thanks to my friends, Mr Gudlaugur Thór Thórdarson, the Foreign Minister of Iceland, and Ms Hrund Hafsteinsdottir, our latest project took us to Iceland where everyone from government to grassroots organisations showed so much love and respect that I became their adopted son in Iceland.
Jaya has been an exceptional mother. My children, Karan and Kareena, are studying Economics and Law, respectively, at Durham University. Both are incredibly bright and kind. We all should be the bridge for every child so as to connect their hopes with possibilities.
Even though I am a psychologist, I am extremely emotional. Sometimes it becomes really challenging to navigate through some kinds of frustration; however, my determination is what keeps me going. I truly believe that if someone has set their heart for something, they do find ways to achieve it, nothing can impede them entirely. After all, we all must believe that happiness is a dimension of our own nature. Then everything falls into place.
It has been an extraordinary journey from the orange farms owned by my ancestors to a global foundation we are leading today. I do not fail to pray and thank Sai Baba, God and the Universe every single day. I feel that gratitude should be the essence of our being and thank everything in my life. I hope, my effort has a chain reaction where everyone begins to realize that it is high time everyone starts taking responsibility to make the world a better place.
Philosophy
Honesty is the best policy; if I stay honest with myself, I wouldn’t stop short of helping anyone irrespective of caste, colour or culture.
I love…
Nature, Liverpool Football Club, good food and social work.
Success Mantra
First rule is to love and be kind to self. If not, how are you going to be kind and loving to others?
I’d suggest the youth…
To make their dreams the reality of their lives.
The world doesn’t know that…
I have a very good voice. I still sing bhajans and Sai hamara hum sai ke, aisa prem hamara is my favourite.
Gallery
ISBN : 9788193397695