Aryan Pasha
Birthplace:
Delhi
Residence:
Delhi
Qualifications:
Law (Rizwi Law College, Mumbai)
Inspiration:
Self-inspired
THE STRENGTH OF TRANSITION
A trendsetter in the true sense of the word, he’s a great inspiration. As India’s first transgender man bodybuilder, lawyer, activist working for change and Co-Founder of India’s first salon run by transgender person, he’s fully devoted to raising awareness of issues concerning the trans community.
He lives and breathes sports. He is easy-going, chatty, bratty yet dependable. Behind his childlike enthusiasm is a steely determination and unadulterated confidence. Meet Aryan Pasha, a young transgender man whose rock-solid exterior hides a heart of gold—the doors of his home are always open to anyone in need.
In a world where those grappling with gender identity are often ridiculed and subjected to abysmal behaviour, Aryan has been lucky to have received full support from relatives, friends, and teachers, and this has proved a great boon for him. This perhaps explains why dependability is such a bedrock of his personality—he is a natural mentor and friend.
Born a biological female, Naila, he mostly got his way, whether it was wanting to wear boys’ uniforms in school or choosing sports over dolls.
“My parents divorced when I was six. My father, Javed Akhtar Pasha, and the rest of the family assumed it took a toll on me, so everyone at home was very accommodating and lenient with me so they never really interfered with my likes or dislikes,” recalls Aryan.
Sports as passion and therapy
Aryan was always mistaken for a boy in school because of his mannerisms, active interest in sports, and his habit of getting into fisticuffs.
He took up skating in class 6 and although he practiced with boys, he would be fielded in the girls’ category, albeit often raising doubts among other participants and their coaches.
“When I first participated in the zonal tourney, my coach was completely shocked to know I was a girl. However, he was happy to field me in the girls’ segment because a medal was guaranteed. Although I protested participating as a girl, he convinced me, and I went on to win.”
Then followed the nationals and other tournaments. He could only cry and throw tantrums but would participate anyhow. “When others objected to a boy being fielded as a girl, my coach would happily present my birth certificate.”
And, whenever he competed, audiences only had harsh words for Aryan. “I always had some negative discussions around me and it made me a lonely and depressed child with suicidal tendencies.”
After all these years, he now understands why he would always be on the defensive, picking fights in school. “I would always be suspicious of the way other students looked at me. Maybe it was my involuntary strategy that I acted like a toughie.”
Similarly, he says, sports too was an outlet for him to vent out frustration. “I would be so tired physically that I would have no time to think about anything else.”
Pillars of support
A tattoo on his right arm says, ‘All I am I owe to my mom’. But the sentiment was a tad different when Payal came into his life as his stepmom. Blaming her for breaking his family, six-year-old Aryan had moved across the door to live with his uncle’s family.
He was 16 when he returned to live with his father. He would mostly keep to himself and would fly off the handle on being addressed as a girl.
“I was at the peak of my puberty and struggling to understand and accept the physical changes. I would cry in front of the mirror. My mother was noticing everything. Having studied psychology and being aware of the LGBTQ+ community through foreign TV shows, she understood me and started researching gender change surgeries in India,” he says.
Gradually, school too became a torment. He was in class 12 when his batchmates came to know of his identity.
“A close friend whom I had helped all along threatened to rape me,” says Aryan. Shocked and hurt, he didn’t go back to school again and started planning to end his life imagining a crueller college life ahead. It was during this time that one of his teachers got him readmitted to school with the condition that he would be coached separately and would attend school only to write his exams.
Aryan underwent surgery after school. “Mom was able to convince dad about it in less than a day. For the first time in my life, someone had understood me,” he says while crediting his stepmom for making the effort to understand him and being with him at every step of his transition.
“She is a forward-thinking woman, who gave up her career to look after us. I cannot thank her enough.”
The historic NALSA judgment
Aryan studied law, more as a compulsion than by choice. While the surgery had freed him as a person, it didn’t get him admission into the Delhi College of Arts and Commerce where he wanted to study Sociology. “The difference in the name and gender from my birth certificate brought rejection. However, Mumbai’s Rizwi Law College was more accommodating,” he says.
Aryan was still in college when the historic NALSA judgment was passed. “It came when I, along with a group of friends, was working on filing a petition on transgender people. The judgment came as a realisation that someone else too had thought on the same lines, fought the battle, and won.”
During his association with Multiple Action Research Group (MARG), a lawyers’ NGO working to enhance rights awareness, he started educating peers about NALSA, the demands that transgenders should put forth when the Bill is passed, community recommendations, and the process of filing FIRs.
In 2015, Aryan had “an eye-opening experience” at a convention where a huge number of kinners participated. “They were introducing their partners and spouses,” he remembers. It was his first major awakening about the community.
The world would have never known about his transition. But as he began interacting more with transgender men, he empathised with them. “Many had been sexually abused, some were advised by psychiatrists to have a physical relationship with a man, and others were taken to tantriks to be ‘cured’. Generally speaking, society knew little about transgender men,” he points out.
Indians abroad would come out as transgenders, but back home, they still hid their real identities. “It was hypocritical,” he notes. It took him close to six years to convince his father of his decision to come out. “He was, after all, worried about me,” he explains.
Aryan has been deeply involved in trans-activism, and is a member of Gaurav Trust, National Council of Transgender Persons, NNTP, NHRC’s LGBT group and the UNDP think-tank. His passion for body-building remains as high as ever – he is a hope for many.
He, however, points out that even with the repeal of Section 377 of the IPC, many transgender people remain orthodox and are resisting change. “Maybe they don’t want to be exposed. The repeal was much needed to protect our rights. The decision has at least given the community the right to legal intervention against abuse, assault and blackmailing.”
VISION FOR THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY
Inclusion, awareness and a life free of fear or judgement, Aryan feels that the community needs to go the extra mile to prove itself. He is pretty confident that things will be better soon. He helps transgender people without degrees earn a respectable living through vocational training. Their recent initiative is the La Beaute and Style salon in Ghaziabad, a collaborative ecosystem of all genders. He feels the community needs to share its collective strength and shed its fears.
MESSAGE FOR THE MAINSTREAM SOCIETY
“It’s sad when ministers ask us why our community need marriage rights,” rues Aryan, but is glad that the younger generation is more aware and accepting. “The policymakers may not be from the community – the reason we need to walk with society.” Society, on its part, has showered Aryan with a lot of love, more so after he became India’s first trans man bodybuilder to compete in the men’s category. A large part of his focus is now on preparing for international sports meets and is also helps other participants. “Sports is an empowering activity and why should this community feel left out?”
FIVE FACTS ABOUT ARYAN
He wanted to take his father’s construction business ahead.
His biggest strength: His wife, Laxmi, and his fearlessness.
His weakness: Temper and of course, Laxmi.
He loves the song ‘Afreen Afreen’ by Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan.
He likes to describe himself as dedicated.
