Amruta Soni
Birthplace:
Solapur, Maharashtra
Residence:
Mumbai, Maharashtra
Qualification:
MBA from Symbiosis International University (Pune)
Inspiration:
A little child, Aarti, who lost her life to HIV
THE STORY OF POSITIVITY: HEROIC, IDYLLIC, VITALITY
She created history by becoming India’s first corporate transwoman managing director. She became the Ranchi National Lok Adalat member, has received the 2017 Powerful Woman Award, was conferred the Inspiration for Trans People with HIV award. Yet not to forget, she lives and fights two social stigmas: She is a transwoman with HIV.
Her list of achievements is unending, though she feels complacent in the relationships she has formed over the years.
Amruta started her journey as transgender rights advocacy officer in 2013 and as a peer educator in 2009 and today shares her expertise on UNDP projects along with being a WHO consultant representing India for the trans-sexual and reproductive health and rights tool development. In 2014, she became the first Indian transgender nodal officer for a health camp by the Chhattisgarh state AIDS control society.
She is one of those few human rights activists who has shown concern for transgender people behind the bars. “Did you know transgenders behind the bars were not even included in the national census till very recently?” She has been fighting for the rights and treatment of transgender people in jail since 2012. She’s exhausted but more hurt and frustrated at the unnerving system. “Most of them are misgendered and stuffed in the wrong cells for no reason but petty things like money or lack of connections,” she informs.
The becoming
Born in September 1983 in a Catholic family of homemaker, Vijaya, and an IAS father, Xavier Paul K, Amruta spent her childhood forced to live into manhood. Her parents would take her for medical screenings and shock treatments to cure her. She’d rigorously gym to combat the hormonal changes showing on her body. Growing up, she was deprived of her desires, happiness and choices.
Rekha, a leading Bollywood actress of her times, enticed her, “I was a fan; there was no one bigger for me!” Donning her mother’s sarees and dupattas, she would copy the evergreen icon’s style as a child when nobody was around. Her father once caught her in the act and thrashed her brutally. It didn’t break her though. “It strengthened me in fact.” Her father would often abuse her mother for giving birth to a transgender and they ultimately divorced when Amruta was still young. Suffering the socio-familial brunt, her mother sent her to swimming lessons to bring out her manly attributes. Family, school, neighbourhood ridiculed her with transphobic slurs. “Neighbours come later, relatives kill you first. Society can teach hatred. My mother was tormented for my existence. I was blamed for ruining the family name.”
She finally resorted to sending the young girl to an uncle’s place in Delhi, hoping that staying away from home would make her strong. What happened, however, was unexpected, unacceptable and hurtful. Amruta, all of 16 till now, was raped and abused by him. Finding no help from the authorities, she went to her mother who handed her a 100-rupee note and advised her to leave the city and do something good and respectful. “I moved to Pune. I remember picking up a vada-pav off the floor, dusting it to fill myself.” Some transgender people helped her and took her to meet Nagma Guru who provided her money, food and clothes.
“Nagma Guru gave me a week’s time to explore the city and think over my decision of joining the transgender community. I joined the community and that’s how a new Amruta was born. I was draped in a saree and never went back to pant-shirts.” She now had a safe place, but her dreams… unfulfilled but too stubborn to vanish. However, sex-work was completely out of her imagination!
She has begged on traffic signals, filled 32 water pots for a cup of tea and sold her body for Rs. 20 to get food. It helped her earn a livelihood and save for SRS. She lashes out at the social treatment of the transgender community. “I have been raped, tortured and abused. When transgender women are trafficked, violated and murdered, there are no hearings, but when they become sex workers, they are further violated. Am I not a human? We aren’t walking dead!”
Humiliated, made to feel like a lesser human being, shamed for the most commonplace desires, scared of losing people she loves and fights for, she continues to be a fighter. All these years, her mother was shocked to see her when Amruta went to her home. She shared her dreams of education and pains by society with her mother – she encouraged her to live her dreams to fight off her pains. She completed high school from IGNOU and graduated in B.A. from Jamia Millia Islamia University in Delhi and later completed her MBA from Symbiosis, Pune. She joined a BPO in 2008 as a trainee executive and went on to be promoted as a floor manager and a team leader. She boldly left the company as a voice and accent trainer in 2012 after facing sexual abuse. “People can’t accept a lady boss… how can they even stand a transgender boss!” Sarcasm’s evident!
Love changes it all
She fell in love and got married to him and thought love would change things for her. However, he was found cheating on her and she walked out.
In 2012, her HIV status devastated her. Ridden with fear, she hid it from everyone except, of course, Tabassum Ali, her support system of years. With her love and care, and her own resilience and confidence, she rose and shone.
Tabassum’s constant efforts and her self-faith encouraged her to fight back for herself and dignity. “The social capital and structure encourage men to mistreat and misbehave with us. Society seeks transgender community’s blessings to ward off evil eyes and yet not behave well with us? Not even offer a cup of tea?”
When people hear her story, they often cry and send consolation. But that’s the last thing she wants. “Don’t cry over spilt milk, but try to not let it spill anymore. If you want to help me, help the movement. Support trans-kids, listen to them and respect their choices. Raise accepting children to create a tolerant future.”
Amruta wants the education system of India to reform. She wishes to integrate sex-education which would include all transgenders in schools to evade the internalisation of biological essentialism. “Society must change its way of dealing with trans-children. This could be suicide and violence prevention.”
Today she stands strong and beautiful. She would not allow social norms to dictate her will and life. Lawmakers and social norms cannot dictate her body and her relations.
An open book and a beautiful human, she does not bother dignifying someone who is disrespectful with a response. The strong and fierce Amruta is a quick and flexible learner, and the emotional Amruta finds her happiness in her mother, Tabassum, friends and children.
She is no people pleaser and believes in self-love for acceptance and growth. She says that there is a long journey ahead of her. The fight for property rights, equal education, economic rights are just the beginning because society doesn’t treat the community as equals, but keeps the highest standards of qualifications reserved for them.
VISION FOR THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY
The world has all kinds of people, she says, while some will disrespect you, some are there who embrace you with open arms, while others are still trying to understand and accept you. The community need not give up on them. “We need to stay positive and take a step forward. Miracles do happen!”
MESSAGE FOR THE MAINSTREAM SOCIETY
She simply asks people to not judge the trans-community – that itself will solve half the problems. “Acceptance and respect – the only things we request.”
FIVE FACTS ABOUT AMRUTA
She loves biryani and seafood. She has broken gender binary norms and won over judges with her delicious and healthy food and won awards for her cooking skills.
Her mentor, Tabassum, is her soul sister, her best friend.
Her mission is to reform the society that creates biases. “I resolved to not shun a society that had been unkind to me. I want to reform it.”
Her father wanted her to be an IAS too.
She found love again – in a doctor – despite her HIV+ status!
