Aarthi Yadav
Birthplace & Residence:
Hyderabad, Telangana
Qualification:
M.A. (English)
Inspiration:
Her late guru ji
TREATING SUCCESS AS A JOURNEY
She calls herself a very daring and outspoken person and believes for any change to be accepted, it has to begin within – the first step towards the well-being of not just the self but also the society.
Her strict family, hailing from a Gauli tribe, never gave her the chance to express herself. Games that boys played never interested her. “I preferred playing kho-kho, disliked cricket and spent my time with girls.” Her mannerisms made everyone mock and abuse her. “Kids picked on me, many called me aapa (elder sister in Urdu).”
It was in 1996 when she was in class 10 that she realised that she was different: how exactly, she wasn’t sure though. The beginning of confusion ensured she just managed to clear her board examinations for classes 10 and 12. I heard of a job as a domestic worker in Bahrain and to avoid it all, I moved there. Though my non-conforming body language would give me away to people and I had to return soon.”
At the height of self-doubts, she met someone from Chinni Krishna Organisation and decided to join the hijra community and started working as a peer educator. “I started to learn about the transgender community also. I was given the job of interacting with them as they found me capable enough. They also believed I’d be able to understand and empathise with their issues.” As a peer educator, her work took her to tour various places. “I had to dress-up traditional and comfortable, so I chose sarees and would often shop for local fabric and prints wherever I went.”
Harrowing period
Somewhere along the line she fell in love and being blinded by it spent quite an amount. “I realised my mistake when I had worked up a debt of nearly Rs. 1 lakh. I wasn’t earning that much and did not reveal it at home too because I had no support from them. Frustrated, I decided to take my life. Right then, a cousin, also a transgender person, called me up and nudged me back home.”
He reminded her of her education and her capability to take care of herself. “‘Why should you die’? he simply asked and that clicked something inside me. I took some time to put myself together and then enrolled for graduation from the Osmania Open University. In 2005, I took my M.A. degree in English.”
To pay her bills and fees, she resorted to begging on trains – where she met a good Samaritan who suggested she should rather start an organisation to not only help herself but also others like her. “I then took up a job as an outreach worker.” There she learnt all the nitty-gritty of starting and running an organisation, the documents and all the formalities needed and the objectives that set it up.
Spreading her arms
Armed with all the knowledge, she started the Avagahana (Telugu for awareness) in 2002. “The main purpose was to help the community with all the basic identity needs like the Aadhar cards, voter identity, etc. I also insisted that they open bank accounts. Most of them would earn and spend without any planning. I had to impress upon them the need to save so that whatever problems they might encounter later they need not beg. That way I managed to get many of the community members to open bank accounts.”
While she was working to better the lives of her community, life had pencilled out some shock for her.
Visiting home in 2002, she found her extended family gathered – all angry and disappointed in her life choices. “My father and brothers beat me up and locked me in a room.” There, she was forcibly married off to an unassuming girl. “No amount of my pleadings or discussion was of any use – I had no choice. After marriage, they ensured I didn’t go out alone. Luck was in my favour that we had twins. But it wasn’t the life I wanted.”
Finally, after six years of struggle, she left home. “My family didn’t even bother to search for me.”
Aarthi once again joined the hijra community. But things weren’t smooth there either. Tensions had spruced up between some elders and her. “They filed a case against some of us and we spent a few days in the lock-up. While I was struggling with a lot on the personal front, Avagahana too suffered a lot and I had to hand over the reins to other board members.” Yet, she was twice awarded the Best Transwoman CEO 2014.
Taking up a new role
It is for nothing that Aarthi considers herself a leader. Once reintegrated into the community, she committed herself for the betterment of every transgender person around her. “I did not like that the world revolved just around begging, congratulatory work at family events and sex work. There were many of us who were well-educated, many MBAs, many with theatre skills, many with computer skills, advocates and people who could be a part of the corporate scene. So, I had to do something to see that they did not waste their lives here.”
As she gradually pulled up her energies, she formed the Hijra and Transgender Welfare Society in 2009. “I ensured that all the board members were the top leaders of the community.” The success of the Society also prompted the Telangana government to appoint her the Project Director of the Telangana State AIDS Control Society.
Aarthi credits her standing in the society to her guru ji who not only inspired her but also taught her about life, its vicissitudes and the way to ace it. That she has been able to do it is evident from the fact that her family too has come around to accepting her. She now stays with her parents, wife and children. “My parents now realise that I am happy and am achieving wonders for myself.” Along with them, also stays her long-term partner Askari Abbas and her disciples as well.
She also feels grateful to Vijay Nair, India’s first transgender HR professional and social activist and Abhina Aher, a transgender activist who has travelled abroad to learn, who helped her understand the importance of right communication.
All the ups and downs of life have made Aarthi a go-to mother figure, who on her part is ever willing to help as many as possible!
VISION FOR THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY
“While we are part of the society, we have to adhere to norms. No point just complaining about injustices. Just because you are different does not give you the right to flout civic norms. For society to change, the change first has to come from within. We too have to evolve. We need to educate ourselves, which will help us find some low or high-grade employment and thus a roof over our heads – it all is up to us. The government can only aid us with schemes and policies, the remaining is on how we make the society look upon us.”
MESSAGE FOR THE MAINSTREAM SOCIETY
She wants the parents to listen and understand their children. “A child’s first friends and teachers are their parents, so it is natural that the child talks to them. So do try to understand what he or she is going through. If they get family support, they won’t run away and continue education – and it’s clear now – only education can bring about change. I understand it will be a time-taking process, at times, parents might lose temper upon constant abuse from society but both parents and children have to support each other and hang in there with each other.”
The government, she says, still has a lot to do. “The policies and laws are there now, more might be needed later on, but for now, the government has to work towards creating awareness.”
FIVE FACTS ABOUT AARTHI
She loves playing mobile games.
She has love for travelling and learning different languages
She cooks delectably.
Her strength: Her family.
Weakness: Temper.
