Chandini Shaikh
Birthplace:
Tirupati, Andhra Pradesh
Residence:
Mumbai, Maharashtra
Qualifications:
Class 10
Inspiration:
Her guru, Shehnaz
A DARING AND LONE FIGHTER
Having had to leave home early on, she has lived a life searching for herself, fighting her spirit with an undiluted dedication to help a whole community and making the world a better place.
Isn’t it fun to have several siblings – to play with, to share with, to care for, to care for! She had seven brothers and two sisters. Yet, her childhood was tough, for none of these things happened to her.
Not quite aware of what was happening to her, she always felt she was a girl in a boy’s body. Born on 8 October 1974 as a male child as per the hospital staff, terms like gays and transgender were almost non-existent. She too was rather unaware. She behaved like girls – dressed up like one, talked like one; but her parents disliked the idea of their son behaving like a girl; they abused her, beat her up and tonsured her if she grew her hair slightly. In fact, the police beat her blue and black in lockup when she was 16. With no support from family, she had no clue about her sexual identity. “I had a very rough childhood. I was beaten up by my parents for doing what I liked – like draping sarees! Imagine, police too took me away. I had started having physical relationships by the time I was in class 8. My mother couldn’t stop crying seeing me getting beaten up and watching my behaviour. She knew the truth and often said to me, ‘Be wherever and however you want to be, be happy’. I then decided to escape it all.”
She went to Mumbai and lost touch with her parents, which to this day haunts her. “I came here with a few members of the kinner community.” Early on, she was asked to go begging. “I was from a well-to-do family and when any transgender person came begging at our shop, I used to hand something around Rs. 10 or more. And here, I found myself amid transgender community, begging!”
Around the age of 19, she underwent her SRS with help from her community members. “I went home after the surgery but my father did not accept me. I even stayed home on the sly. Though my brother didn’t accept me I found support from my sisters.”
Chandini returned to Mumbai and took up sex work for a living. Soon she started to grow her hair long and looked like a woman. “I then joined a bar and was there for a considerable amount of time. Gradually, I had my disciples as happens in transgender community and I even adopted a boy. I then gave up sex work and started going for congratulatory work at familial events and looking after my chelas.”
She then met a person, Shehnaz, who gave her life a new meaning. “Till my entire transition process was completed, she stood by me through thick and thin. I then stood on my feet and stood firmly with my community. She guided me, she inspired me… she became my guru and inspiration.” She turned to spirituality and herself became a guru.
The two started Triveni, a CBO working for the welfare of the transgender community in 2004. Now she was devoting full time to help the community. “Whether it be documents like Aadhaar card, ration card or voter identity card, the organisation was a one-stop solution. I learnt a lot about the struggles and also the way to interact with counsellors. Today, to make Triveni successful, my disciples help me with all their might.”
Actions speak louder than words
Talking about the forming of Triveni, she says, “2000–2004, we were working with NSV and migrants and the proposal was initially rejected. We had to convince the officers to give us a chance once to prove ourselves. Our work was appreciated and till now Triveni functions and coordinates well with other organisations like NTTP and NALCO. We also work with Laxmi Narayan Tripathi, whom I consider my sister. Even as we work on HIV and other health issues, the major work involves documentation. Many community members face major problems when it comes to getting their documents like Aadhaar, ration card and voter identity cards done. It is here where we provide maximum support.”
She laments that till now the community has not got any support from the government. “In Mumbai, we haven’t got any support from either central or state governments. State governments of Andhra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu, Karnataka or Kerala have been supportive but it’s different here. Maharashtra too has a welfare board but how well is it supporting us?”
Triveni, however, hasn’t given up. “We regularly visit the offices, meet the officials or the MPs and we impress upon them about our needs and our aspirations. We are constantly on it, await their response and strive for equality.”
Chandini feels that the Supreme Court judgment on the third gender has been a good move. “We want the community to be provided equal job opportunities in the government so that we can work towards removing the discrimination and strive for equality.”
She says, “People ought to be made aware of the third gender. They shouldn’t feel threatened by the community. One way to increase awareness is to be able to reach out to the youngsters – especially the schools and colleges. That way as they move up in life, they will be more rounded and will accept transgender persons as equals. To begin with, including a chapter on the community in school books can help fight the phobia around us.”
Triveni conducts awareness and sensitisation programmes regularly in Mumbai and nearby regions. “But such programmes need to be held in every rural area across the country. Social Media plays its part in increasing awareness.”
Chandini has come a long way and is an active spokesperson of the community. “I am now a social activist fighting for the rights of my people. I now have a voice and a standing voice and I feel proud to have come this far.”
The depression that almost every transgender person faces, however, disturbs her. “The lack of support and love from family, friends and society at large leaves them alone in their fight. Some fight loneliness upon finding the loves of their lives. Yeah, love, in all its forms, rarely comes to us. I too had fallen in love but eventually parted ways. Isn’t depression natural then? The only solution is to spread awareness, especially among the younger generation, which helps in gaining acceptance.”
VISION FOR THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY
According to Chandini, education, for the community and society both, is the best solution. She says, “Educated opens up various venues to earn a living and not just depend on begging and sex work. I never could complete my education and I can feel the lag now.”
She also hopes to see every person, transgender member or cisgender, find a roof to shelter as a place to live stops them against any social vice. “My dream is to see that all of us are provided homes under the PM Awas Yojana.
MESSAGE FOR THE MAINSTREAM SOCIETY
She begins with her message to parents. “Please support and nurture your child no matter what. Listen to them and respect their wishes and accept them as they are.”
She requests society to stop discriminating, even if gradually. “The community does not require anything but some love, some respect and an occasional smile. Smile at us and we will feel you are with us. We are as human as anyone else.” At the same time, she says, none of it will come without the government’s heart-felt involvement in this. Only the government advertisements can reach rural India – the heart of our country. Housing, education, acceptance, she agrees, will happen eventually if rural India accepts its kids with any gender concerns!
FIVE FACTS ABOUT CHANDINI
She finds strength in her disciples and other community members.
Deeply spiritual, she does her bit to spread peace.
She loves spiritual songs and qawwalis.
She loves South Indian cuisine, especially idlis and dosas.
Her daring spirit makes her unstoppable and indomitable.
