Dr Kalaimamani Sudha
Birthplace:
Chennai, Tamil Nadu
Residence:
Chennai, Tamil Nadu
Qualifications:
Class 10
Inspiration:
Dr. Sunil Menon
THE GOLD IN MUCK
Facing rejection, rebuke and ridicule, she was forced to leave her home as a teenager. She now travels across the world to create awareness. She’s won the highest civilian award of her state. She has come a long way and is now seen as a role model paving a pathway for generations to come.
The adage that light follows darkness sits pretty in her life story. She’s faced abuse and discrimination of the worst kind. And yet, she went on to earn a double doctorate, she cultivated a love for language, and social welfare is an intrinsic part of her persona.
Born in a traditional middle-class family, she did not have the expected happy childhood – for she was ‘different’, the difference that her child-brain could not fathom. The difference lay in her anatomy – she was a born male, who didn’t feel like one.
School and home felt alike to her – abusive. “I was beaten black and blue at home; I had to face jeers at school,” she shares.
The harassment went beyond as it was aimed not just at her – the neighbourhood directed jeers at the entire family. In response, her family, stung by all this, decided to “hide her away” from the public eye.
“My family hated me at the time. They were all made fun of. Adding to that, it became extremely difficult to find a groom for my elder sister. I was made to learn the right way a boy should sit, stand, talk – all of which was tough for me because it wasn’t me.”
To avoid the embarrassment, Sudha was confined to one room which became her world until she was home. While she gradually earned her mother’s and sisters’ support, the abuse at home never stopped, “the side effect of patriarchal society,” she says.
Later, when she would have fame and money, she would have her father’s and brothers’ support as well, but also a strong conviction that the support was for selfish reasons.
Leaving home but finding family
At the age of 17, Sudha, exhausted from all the abuse, ran away from home. She wanted to be herself. Away from the shackles of home, she felt uncaged. “I didn’t have to comply with my family’s rule book; I could be myself.”
There was no looking back after that. While staying with a transgender friend, striving for every penny, she completely transitioned into a female at age 25. “I had never felt better,” she says.
While still undergoing her treatment, she came in touch with Dr. Sunil Menon, the first openly gay person in South India, through a newspaper. He took her under his wing and motivated her to join his organisation, Sahodaran Foundation, which helped her to understand the mental, emotional and physical needs of the transgender community at large.
“Luckily for me, I didn’t have to beg or get into sex work; yet, whatever I did, I always thought I had faced a lot and then I met other transgender people who had faced and were facing a lot more. Something in me actuated me to do something for them.”
The association with the community helped her gain a strong voice and spread awareness of the struggles and challenges faced by transgender persons, particularly transwomen. She later worked with Voluntary Health Services (VHS) as well.
TN government’s efforts
“The Tamil Nadu (TN) government has helped a great deal in creating awareness and a general atmosphere of respect,” she says.
The TN government formed a Transgender Welfare Board in 2009, under which several seminars and meetings are conducted to address the concerns of the community. The government has also been very supportive in providing the required financial aid to NGOs and self-help groups for the transgender community.
“Thanks to this board, catcalling, verbal abuse and use of derogatory language have reduced to an extent. The community started getting their due respect and place in society. People have begun considering us as ‘humans’. However, I believe there is still a long way to go,” she points out.
The solution: Education
Sudha has helped organise more than 100 events promoting the cause of the transgender community and helping people understand their situation so they can empathise with them. She has often been recognised with awards for all the work she has done for the social uplift of the transgender community.
In 2019, the state government bestowed upon her its highest civilian award – the Kalaimamani Award. “Celebrities want to take pictures with us and organise events and programmes for us – not with us, but for us,” she says.
Sudha sees enhanced awareness of the transgender community as the panacea. “No one knows what we go through. if you did, you wouldn’t treat us this way. The police too mostly do not understand the concept of decriminalisation of Section 377 and continue to punish them even now,” she rues.
“This isn’t something that is under our control. Also, the social vices that many transgender persons commit are because the society doesn’t allow them anything better,” she explains.
The solution to these challenges, she believes, is active networking. “NGOs and self-help groups should provide help and assistance to the transgender people whenever they need it.”
Although she believes the government has been incredibly supportive in terms of financial aid and support to the transgender community, more concrete steps need to be taken.
“Laws should be enforced to secure reservation of transgender people in the education department and for employment opportunities,” says Sudha who has observed that the plight of transmen is even worse than other groups included in the LGBTQIA+ community.
“The uplift of transmen is the need of the hour and must be achieved at all costs. It is imperative to pay attention to their sufferings and challenges.”
Jaya, the inspiration
Her inspiration and source of motivation is J. Jayalalithaa, the late Tamil Nadu leader. “She was the iron lady of the South. There has been no one like her. She was a single woman, with such a huge responsibility. I deeply admire her boldness and vigour,” she avers.
Sadly, Sudha could not meet her before her untimely demise, and this, she says, is very tough to get over with.
VISION FOR THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY
Education, she says, can take one place. “Every transgender person should encourage each other to get educated and motivate the younger ones.” She has succeeded in launching a provision in Loyola College, Chennai, to enrol at least three transgender students each year, free of cost. This is a monumental achievement and a prominent start towards her aim. “I was not able to obtain the education I wanted. Now I don’t want any other transgender kid to lag. Watching them go to college makes me feel proud.”
MESSAGE FOR THE MAINSTREAM SOCIETY
She wants society to let everyone live as per will. “No one, privileged or unprivileged, wants to be dictated on life choices, nor do we. But understand that what we are isn’t a choice – we are sent like this from above.” Modern society, she points out, will be modern when it rises above caste, colour, gender, etc., the root cause for discrimination. Also, families should support their children or members who choose to come out. “The support and love one gets from one’s family is invaluable. I never got to experience familial love but I still await their acceptance.” She further suggests that the government should impose strict laws against parents who kick their transgender children out of their homes. “There are laws against children evicting old-age parents. Don’t we too deserve the same?”
FIVE FACTS ABOUT KALAIMAMANI
She loves yoga and walking to keep her body active and fit and writing for her mind’s fitness.
She loves compering/anchoring and feels very confident and empowered when she is up on the stage.
One of her role models, sister Shanthi, accepted her regardless of her gender identity.
She released a book, SUDHA 50, in March 2022 about 50 transgender people to mark her 50th birthday celebration.
She has been awarded a doctorate for her outstanding contribution in social services.
