Kankeshwari Nandgiri
Birthplace:
Andhra Pradesh
Residence:
Gorakhpur, Uttar Pradesh
Qualifications:
Class 7
Inspiration:
Laxmi Narayan Tripathi
SAINT FROM THE ASHES
A child all of eight years was forced to leave home as his father refused to acknowledge her even as a living being. That kid grew into a much more beautiful human and she now blesses everyone without any grudges or biases. She now inspires the transgender community to actively mainstream themselves by choosing to become journalists, counsellors, doctors, lawyers, judges, etc.
She was still a child when she found out that she was different from others. A student of St. Paul’s School in Kolkata, Kankeshwari Nandgiri, born a male, preferred to hang out with the girls rather than the boys. And so, the boys started to call her humiliating names like chhakka or hijra. The abasement reached her father’s ears making him feel ashamed, humiliated and depressed. Unfortunately, this led to a situation where she could study only up to class 7.
Kankeshwari was forced to leave her house at age 8 because of the trauma and humiliation she supposedly became for her family.
“My father did shraddh and pind daan (Hindu rituals done after the death of a person) after he realised my gender choice. I was still alive,” she recalls.
Taking the name Kiran at that time, she joined a dance group that performed in shady places. She did a few programmes and made new friends. Eventually, she met other transgender people – though, initially, she was really scared of them, but when she got to know about them and their society, she decided to stay.
But what kept her going? “My mother,” she says, adding, “It was just because of my mother that I survived in this harsh world.”
Her mother tracked her down through her friends and she continues to visit her. “Picking her up or dropping her at the railway station, we hug and start crying at the railway station itself,” she says, completely in love with her mother.
While she is a respectable name now, Kankeshwari still doesn’t want to reveal her parents’ names, “fearing more shame to them because of me,” she confesses, making us wonder if a person can ever come out of childhood trauma.
Path to godliness
It was sometime around 1998 when, while performing, she reached the town of Gorakhpur in Uttar Pradesh. During one of her performances, an elderly transgender lady spotted her and took her under her wings and became her mentor. She named her Chotki Kinner out of love.
At first, she received hate from the community as she hailed from South India. Cut to the present – they love her for her charisma. She now leads the life every person has the right to – a life of respect and love.
Meanwhile, Kankeshwari, on her part, fell in love with the culture of the place and decided to settle down there. Always wanting to work for human welfare, she now works as a social worker in Gorakhpur.
“I am now the President of the Kinner Akhara here, all thanks to my mentor and UP Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath, who recognised it in me and has helped me grow in the right direction,” she declares.
Her mentor, she says, was like a guardian to her, who gave her the name Kankeshwari Nandgiri and taught her a different way of leading life.
Coming to the aid of people in the pandemic
During the COVID-19 pandemic, when help was not coming in time from the expected quarters, she, along with her disciples, aided the needy by distributing groceries, clothes and other basic amenities. She continued to extend her helping hand when the state was reeling under flood.
However, she was later struggling with mental health issues due to the alleged negligence of acquaintances and friends.
“I always donate half of what I earn. Yet, society would always be harsh towards me,” she rues with tears welling up in her eyes.
The kinners of Gorakhpur followed Islam while she followed Hinduism. She is a God-fearing person who celebrates all Hindu festivities with fasting and prayers. Her disciples have always been on her side, and she now has around 300 community people working alongside her.
She says she’s grateful to Laxmi Narayan Tripathi. “She’s been like a mother to me – and to many others. The way she stands and fights for the rights of the community is inspiring. She’s the person who guided me on the right path,” she reveals.
“Earlier I’d often lock myself up to pray and confide in the Almighty whenever the harassment and lack of support got the better of me. Laxmi ji asked me to join her in Varanasi and I started feeling better as soon as I was under her guidance,” recalls Kankeshwari.
Dedicating life to others
She has always been a social worker. She has seen flawless marriage ceremony arrangements of around 20 girls.
“In Indian society, helping girls marry, especially the ones who have no one above them, is an act of giving, like they say, ‘There is no bigger daan than kanyadaan’.”
She has also contributed to the training of the mountaineer Nitish Kumar Singh, to scale Mt. Kilimanjaro.
“The government continues to support us in one way or the other, for example, repealing Section 377, a metro station dedicated to the community and more. We can expect some progress in the next five years,” she notes with a spark in her eyes.
As for her expectations for the morrow, she points to facilities like pensions for the elderly, education for those who are begging on the streets and working in the red-light districts and housing, to begin with.
Citing an example of the community in South India, Kankeshwari says they seem to be benefitting from the schemes of the government like getting jobs in hospitals and the government sector. Some are studying to become engineers, while others are getting trained in the police departments.
As a person, Kankeshwari can be misread easily. For, while on the outside she looks like a strong lady, on the inside she is a deeply emotional person which is reflected in her dance.
“I love dancing; classical bhakti dance interests me the most. I especially love to perform on this bhajan sung by Lata Mangeshkar, ‘sadhana aradhna meri reh gayi adhuri’.”
She has often been advised to aim for political leadership as she has always wanted to be in a position where she can help others. She wants to facilitate a system of schools, colleges, hospitals and travel where every person is welcomed without gender bias.
“Politics is an altogether different ball game. I won’t be able to help people the way I want to if I get there. No, it’s not my field to be in. I’d rather continue to earn and help people without any inhibitions – the idea is to help the downtrodden not to earn myself a name,” she answers.
VISION FOR THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY
Kankeshwari wants members of the transgender community to be actively mainstream – to become journalists, counsellors, doctors, lawyers, judges, etc. “I am sure every transperson will be proud to see the names of a member in newspapers or media but for that, we as a community and as individuals have to be extremely strong mentally and emotionally to break the barriers and misconceptions around the community.” “Keep doing what you should to achieve your rights,” she advises every transgender person.
MESSAGE FOR THE MAINSTREAM SOCIETY
Kankeshwari urges parents to treat their transgender children like every other child. “Children are the purest forms of life, of every gender, caste and colour. They come to this world as normally as other children – so much so that parents don’t even realise the difference until the child grows up to a certain age. “Why do they start differentiating when they realise their choices? How does love suddenly change into hatred? “Transgender people have been mythologically called avatars of Gods – Ardhnareshwar, Manglamukhi are worshipped. “The first acceptance has to come from parents for society to be accommodating too.”
FIVE FACTS ABOUT KANKESHWARI
She is a classical dancer.
She loves to indulge in chocolates and always carries wafers.
She isn’t in favour of adopting a child or two. She prefers to help many more.
While travelling, she ensures visiting the well-known temples of the city.
Peace, for her, lies in helping people and often visits orphanages and old-age homes.
