Mohul Sharma
A TRUE FIGHTER
A transgender man, motivational speaker and poet who has seen it all at a very young age, he is an icon spreading gender awareness and sensitivity among India’s younger generation. For all that he’s fought for, his courage and dogged determination stand out, setting a roadmap for others to tread on
There are people who bury you in the rubble of your collapsed world. And there are individuals who pull you out of the rubble. Mohul has seen both. Having taken life’s hard punches since early childhood, this young man in his early 20s has matured beyond his age.
“Waqt se pehle haadson se lada hoon main, apni umra se kai saal bada hoon main (I have fought, timelessly, tirelessly and have now matured beyond my age),” he cites a couplet penned by him.
Mohul was born in Delhi on 6 February 1998, and at 10, when his parents separated, he became a caregiver to his one-year-old brother, Prateek.
“We were just three men living together. My father, Shailendra Sharma, worked, cooked, and ran the household, while I looked after Prateek,” says Mohul, whose birth certificate assigned him the female gender and he was named Megha but even back then, he thought he was a boy.
At such a young age, the responsibilities that arose, and the turmoil within, were too much to handle but the boy plodded on, facing taunts in school, caring for his brother, and trying to understand why he wasn’t like the other boys.
“I hated wearing the school pinafore; my behaviour and my hairstyle were all masculine. Teachers would warn my father that I may end up in the wrong place.”
He was a good athlete, representing the school in handball and throwball tournaments; what’s more, sports allowed him to wear T-shirts and shorts. “I was like any other boy who wanted to date the most beautiful girl in school,” he recalls.
And then one day, his white school skirt had a red stain. “A friend pointed it out and I fainted from shock.”
Periods became traumatic episodes and further exacerbated his internal conflict. “I could not talk to Dad and wondered why none of my guy friends had this problem. Was I a girl and didn’t know it or was it a mental disorder? I was so confused.”
A morning of awakening
It was a Sunday morning. Mohul sat transfixed in front of the television absorbing every word being said. Aamir Khan’s Satyamev Jayate – the TV show that discussed social issues in India – was on air with the torchbearers of the LGBTQ+ movement as guests.
“I came to know about Sex Reassignment Surgeries (SRS) and most importantly that I was not what I was.”
That evening, eager to sort out his confused existence, he shared it with his father. “I pretended like I was just sharing some information about the community’s plight and rights. When he asked me if I wanted all this, I just froze because I did not have all the answers.”
Next, Mohul contacted every guest through Facebook. He received a response a month later with a phone number mentioned there. “It was Abhina maa. She invited me to a convention she was hosting at the Humsafar Trust office in Delhi. It turned out to be an eye-opener for me. It was here that I was introduced to the term ‘transgender men’.”
He then met transgender men who were in their pre-transition phase; found out about the SRS success rate; and met surgeons, endocrinologists and counsellors. “I had to have my facts right if I was to talk to my dad about surgery.”
Meanwhile, he also met Aryan Pasha who advised him to take it one step at a time. “He said not just the transgender person, but their family, friends and colleagues also go through transition. His advice reined in my haste.”
While he decided to wait, his Facebook pictures from an LGBTQ+ event caught the attention of a friend of his father.
“I was at a community event when my dad called asking me about my whereabouts. I lied saying I was with friends. I stretched the lie when I reached home but when he asked me the second time, I grabbed the opportunity and let it all flow.”
He slapped Mohul.
Keeping Aryan’s words in mind, he began strengthening his bond with his father, but nothing seemed to be heading his way. Barely 18, extremely disheartened and tired, he attempted suicide. “I wonder how, but my father was a changed man before I was discharged from the hospital.”
It was in July 2017 when his father finally agreed to let him undergo SRS but requested him to keep it a secret from the rest of the family for at least six months – this much time was needed to understand and accept it.
Sadly, he could never focus on academics earlier because of his responsibilities and later due to his identity crisis. With the surgery on the anvil, he took up a job at a BPO. Things were looking up, the father-son bond was strengthening, he had begun transitioning and was finally happy to have everything going that he had fought for.
The biggest loss
On the night of 26 December 2017, he got a call from his dad. “It was his number, but not his voice. The caller informed me that Dad had met with an accident. I saw him in the ICU, brain-dead and on a ventilator. He passed away a day later, at a time when I thought I had everything I ever wanted in life.”
He felt all alone once again. His relatives, more than being with him in his hour of grief, were questioning why he was different now, why his voice was heavier, and why were LGBTQ+ members visiting him. “They were asking me all this while I was struggling so hard to process my loss,” he rues.
“When God closes one door, He opens many more,” he says. As it turned out, Aryan again stepped in to fill the void in Mohul’s life and has stood behind him like a rock ever since.
In March 2018, he joined The Lalit, New Delhi, a five-star hotel that takes pride in its gender and diversity-inclusive policy. A food and beverage associate, he found support and motivation in the entire team. He credits Keshav Suri, Executive Director of the Lalit Suri Hospitality Group and founder of the Keshav Suri Foundation for his growth.
His journey in the hotel industry inspires many – he delivers sessions on inclusivity and shares his story with people through various platforms.
Mt. Friendship Peak
In October 2020, he joined a 25-member transgender expedition to Mt. Friendship Peak. It was a 10-day confidence-building initiative that connected community members to their true strength.
“Our target was to scale the summit. Not everyone knew each other when we started, but we returned as a close-knit family, each more confident and happier than before.”
Only five from the expedition team – he and four transgender women – could scale the summit. “We missed making a world record by just a few metres, but still were euphoric and shed tears of pride as we unfurled the Indian flag. That day, I also understood why the Tricolour has such an effect on its bearer. That was also a moment of victory for the entire transgender community.”
He couldn’t complete his education but now works tirelessly to help Prateek achieve his dream of becoming a software engineer. “I should be able to give him wings. After my dad passed away, Aryan bhaiya and Laxmi bhabhi maa have looked after us as parents. Prateek is deeply attached to them for all the love they shower on him. I can’t thank them enough.”
He shares another of his couplet, “Qaabiliyat meri poochi hai toh bata hi deta hoon, jo baat kisi se nahi kehta use kaagaz pe utar deta hoon (Penning down my thoughts is my talent, if you may)”.
VISION FOR THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY
“There’s been a positive change in people’s attitudes since the annulment of Section 377. Earlier, even MNCs that implemented inclusive policies in their offices outside India had to abide by the law of this land. What could they have done had an employee evoked Section 377 on a gay or transgender colleague? While I thank the government for the move, more credit goes to all those who fought against the law,” says Mohul, who envisions a more inclusive society and a multi-pronged awareness approach. “Schools need to create awareness among children, parents, and educators. Change the depiction of family charts to include same-sex couples as parents,” he says.
MESSAGE FOR THE MAINSTREAM SOCIETY
“The community has given its all. We deserve equal rights, respect and understanding.”
FIVE FACTS ABOUT MOHUL
He wanted to be an engineer.
Prateek is his weakness and strength.
He lives by Gulzar’s writings and himself writes stirring couplets.
He loves aloo parathas and chicken curry.
His tattoo hides an interesting love story.
