Pawan Yadav
Birthplace:
Jaunpur, Uttar Pradesh
Residence:
Mumbai, Maharashtra
Qualification:
LL.B.
Inspiration:
Parents and the community
SHATTERING GENDER BARRIERS
Maharashtra’s first and the country’s second transgender lawyer, she has promised free legal support to the people of her community. Appointed as the President of AIPC Maharashtra Cell, she is working for the uplift of transgender people. She’s been instrumental in getting separate beds for transgenders in government hospitals and colleges and this sets the path for fundamental reforms. She works to break the barriers of bigotry.
She’s been working tirelessly to bring the trans community the respect they rightly deserve, the rights that every human should have – the reason that she studied hard to become a licensed lawyer and now aims to become an IAS or IPS officer. Step by step, she is moving towards living all her dreams – though it’s never easy.
Pawan dedicates it all to her extremely supportive parents. “Finding such supportive parents is rare. It was a blessing that I was born to them,” she says with a smile, sharing her disbelief in the same breath: “Our holy scriptures mention the transgender community with high respect. There are trans-Gods in mythology and trans people at respected positions in many parts of history. We worship them, we follow history, so why do we disrespect them today? Why treat them like a contagion? Why doesn’t anyone want to know their story and have empathy towards them?”
Though she is now leading the life of her dreams, standing by and fighting for the community, she has many questions, all of which come from what she has personally experienced and watched many trans people face every day.
“To live as they will, people change the colour of their hair and skin, shape their bodies, get plastic surgeries or Botox done. Why can’t I choose my style? Why is my choice frowned upon?”
She further asks: “I got my SRS done. How does it bother anyone else? Am I harming anyone?”
Society, she points out, doesn’t like coloured skin so people use creams and other technologies to brighten themselves up. “Why has society built so many parameters to fall into? I was sent like this by God and the society doesn’t like God’s decision?”
There’s nothing wrong with trans people, or with anyone else, she iterates. “What is wrong is mentality. It’s narrow-mindedness that doesn’t allow us to grow. If I had not been suppressed by society, I would have been an IPS or IAS by now.
“We’re human beings, we have every right to live life just like everyone else. We are strong enough to define ourselves and live. If you can’t handle it, don’t blame us. We are not what you want us to be. We are what we know ourselves to be.”
She promises to continue working towards changing the entire thought process that has stood so strongly against the community for years.
Parents support: The strength
Pawan was born a male in 1995 in a middle-class family in Jaunpur – a rather underdeveloped city back then. From very early on, the child behaved differently from other boys his age.
Because of her mannerisms and choices, she, her three brothers, and her parents were often insulted. Her brothers had had many catcalls and jibes thrown at them but they were always protective of her. It was a family of six against the whole city.
“Many a time, my mother would come home crying. And I could also sense my father’s stress whenever he returned from work. Nothing outside my home was helping me.
“But within the boundaries was my haven, my place, my sense of security. I wonder now where my family derived so much patience from. It probably is the most unassuming parently thing, isn’t it?”
The family kept her from falling apart and things were perfect – like a dream. Outstanding academically, she applied her sister-in-law’s makeup and did things her way.
Some dreams, however, shatter.
Pawan, all of 15, was sexually abused. Things floundered.
The battle of life
Police failed to help the Yadavs after the sexual assault. They rather condemned Pawan and the family, refusing even to hear them. With no justice in sight, the family began to lose hope in the system. As the case built up, they received all the more condemnation. Heartbroken with all the discrimination, Pawan decided to end it all – and her life – and gulped down the floor-cleaning acidic liquid. It was the year 2015; she was 17.
It was almost a Godly intervention when her father’s friend, Ram Kumar Pal, asked Pawan if she wanted to live and progress, or else, sulk, stay stuck, and ruin it for the entire family? With a new purpose in life, and the support of younger brother Ravi Yadav, a lawyer, she decided to study law. The aim was to support the queer people who face abuse and injustice because of a lack of support and guidance.
The next battle that she had was one with herself. Every day she would look at herself and fail to recognise the body she was living in. Ensconced in the care of a supportive family and friends circle, yet not happy with her body, she felt caged. She had deliberations with her cousin, Subhana Shaikh. Finally, in 2020, Pawan got the SRS done. And now, she fell in love with her body, and herself, all over again.
Law college
She now applied to a law college, ticking the third gender box – unaware of what would come to her. She was denied admission straight away and was told they couldn’t take her in as she was a transwoman.
While injustice repeated itself, this time nothing could make her fall. She got admission to the Children Welfare Centre Law College, Mumbai, though she had to hide her gender identity. She had to keep it hidden until she finished the degree. Like in school, she once again had to wait for everyone to be in the class to use the loo.
Winning over every single hurdle that came her way, she is now registered with the Bar of Maharashtra and Goa.
Her classmates are aware of her true identity, and they ask her several questions. “Many tell me they couldn’t ever notice she was different. It’s always good to answer such queries from them – the more you discuss, the more awareness you spread.”
An excellent example of the transgender community being no different from anyone else, she is sure to break the gender barriers and the limitations of gender boxes on forms.
“When given an opportunity without any prejudice, trans people can attain heights and reach the level of bureaucrats.”
She commits to fighting the battle to get their rightful respect from the government and society. To make India more inclusive, she says, “the government should run more awareness programmes and advertisements, and provide shelter, education, and jobs to the community.
“These are the basics that the community lacks and thus they fall in the vicious circle of crime and sex work. No one should be denied their fundamental rights. Let’s make a more inclusive society free from prejudice, homophobia, transphobia, or any other form of discrimination.”
VISION FOR THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY
The trans community, says Pawan, is working hard to be a part of mainstream society. An increasing number of trans people are trying to do something special in every field today – such changes need to happen daily as this is what will change the dancing-begging perception people have of them. “I see the entire community doing things that society will see them with a good eye, they will not be despised, and they will also have a place in the society.”
MESSAGE FOR THE MAINSTREAM SOCIETY
“Please stop being judgemental and having a prejudice towards the community. We are not different. We are just like you but with a different outlook and perspective. We have it in us to become doctors, engineers, lawyers, etc. like you. All we seek is your acceptance because the discrimination puts us on a back foot. The pain we go through is unbearable.” She especially requests parents to accept their children as they are and motivate them to grow.
FIVE FACTS ABOUT PAWAN
She aims to become an IAS or IPS.
She likes maroon colour saree.
Her favourite song is the dance number, Kajrare kajrare from Bunty aur Bubbly.
She likes reading books.
She believes in “listening more, talking less”.
