Sanamacha Kakchingtabam
Birthplace:
Imphal, Manipur
Residence:
Imphal, Manipur
Qualification:
M.A. (English)
Inspiration:
Amitava Sarkar and Laxmi Narayan Tripathi
BUILDING A STRONG FUTURE GENERATION
A shy but strong lady, she never faced dire circumstances and so decided to benefit from it – prove herself as an equal. Well-accomplished and highly educated, people queue up for her tuition for their children, and her family is proud of it!
“As a child, I didn’t realise I was different from others. On the outward, I was like everyone else physically,” she says. “But as I started growing, people started guessing my gender. They started calling me derogatory words like ‘homo’ – a word used for effeminate males. I often wondered why would they tease me for no reason. Soon, I knew it was probably my behaviour but was it something I could change?” The biggest blow was that she was labelled and discriminated against because of how people felt she ought to feel.
For her family, which wasn’t highly educated, it was very hard to understand. “Things hurt my parents too. They tried hard to make me behave like a ‘real boy’. They sometimes thrashed me to make me behave like a boy, to ‘cure’ me, to make me behave ‘correct’.” Her parents did not want her to apply makeup as it enhanced her femininity. “I think my parents knew that I was different. I remember when I was still a child, my mother told me I was around four-year-old when I insisted my parents buy me a dress that girls wear. They didn’t, but yes, they had started acknowledging that I was different from other boys.”
Born in 1980, she was in her first year as a teenager when she knew her difference.
Good education
What weighed in Sanamacha’s favour was her excellent academic performance. “I was a good student. I am sure my parents too didn’t say much because of this. My teachers liked me too because of my records – it was here that my gender identity didn’t interfere and so I knew my direction rather early.” It was thus a bitter-sweet kind of experience at her young age.
She could tell that her parents did feel about her predicament. But they also wanted her to change herself and her habits. “It is difficult for them to understand. It’s been 40 years that I have been staying with them and they still expect me to change.”
That she is still staying with them, means she feels they have at least accepted her to a large extent. “Because I am well-educated and so understand social norms, they hope I will change. And we have come to be able to live together in all these years. At the same time, I know they understand they are ever-so-hopeful because they have seen how society looks at me and that I may feel frustrated.”
It, however, wasn’t all hunky-dory at school. The school recess was the most dreaded time for her. As everyone went with their friends, she used to sit alone. Fortunately for her, in class 7, a new girl, John, joined her class who was like her and both hit it off immediately and that also helped them cope up with all the teasing and tough times.
She cleared class 10 with flying colours. For her class 12, John introduced her to another girl who was also like them and they all became close friends. “I did my graduation and postgraduation in English Literature from Manipur University. Everyone in college was mature, showed no hatred towards me and accepted me just as I was. Overall, I didn’t ever face any heart-wrenching or hard-hitting transgender moment or awareness back then in the state.” Right after graduation, she got a contract under the Melinda Gates Foundation especially working as a consultant on AIDS awareness. There was a job offer for a teacher which she gave up because she “wasn’t comfortable going in there in the dress I would not want to be in”.
The financial situation at home was not very great. “I started giving tuition as soon as I gave my class 10 board exams. I had to support my family financially and I found a way and I am still going strong.”
That she was a very good tutor helped a lot… Many parents started sending their children to her. “The best part is that all parents want the best tutor for their children and the identity does not come in the way. They know I am a transgender person but as they want the best education for their children, which I can provide, they overlook that fact.”
It isn’t lost on her that it also in a way helps her gain acceptance in society and she could create awareness about the transgender community. “Apart from helping me financially, it also in a way increases my acceptance in the society and helps me contribute to every family I have been in touch with.”
She admits that though not in concurrence with her, her parents have stood by her. Also standing firmly behind her in the tumultuous period was her friend, Oken. Though they took time to bond and share things and gradually they became good friends. As she continued to prove her worth, the neighbours too accepted her.
Turning point
What riled Sanamacha the most was when she was teased and called names wherever she went. At times, the children did it in the presence of their parents. And that in turn prodded her to learn more about transgender issues and spread the word to gain for them. She read a lot and picked up any magazine or literature that talked about transgender people.
In Manipur, till some time back ‘transgender’ wasn’t a term in the lexicon. Every transgender person was fixed into the broad term MSM – men who have sex with men – a term she was strictly against. However, she also didn’t have the right term to categorise her in. It was then that Amitava Sarkar, a friend from the NGO, SAATHII, visited her. She mentioned the word transgender and that immediately struck a chord between them. “Though it was difficult for us to explain the word ‘transgender’ to even the people working in the HIV sector, it was exactly the term I was looking for.”
In those early days, she never shared her trauma and stress and kept it to herself. She often questioned, “why am I born thus”. She cried a lot and only when she joined a group of similar-minded people was she able to share her experiences. “I remember a lot of nights that I spent without sleeping a wink crying very quietly lest someone hear.” It also made her realise that she must do something special and be some sort of light for the young generation.
She was invited to a national convention in Hyderabad on gender issues where she got an opportunity to work at a national level to bring about a change in the idea of the rights of transgender people – an opportunity where she “learned and helped others learn”.
While she acknowledges that the government has initiated programmes to instil inclusivity, she feels people like her should be involved in forming policies. “We now have a voice and must use it to help everyone.” However, she accepts that gender neutrality has to start in schools. “The biggest challenge is to make teachers think about it. How do we get schools to have an inclusive atmosphere?”
A positive note is that the National Commission for Protection of Child Rights (NCPCR) has reported the first transgender balance case. And through these moments, she says, the community will gradually be educated towards ending discrimination. It has to be a continuous effort and not just limited to school books. Anyway, she is extremely positive.
VISION FOR THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY
“A deprived human can only seek love, respect and acceptance. With changing policies and attitudes of the community, it will soon happen.”
MESSAGE FOR THE MAINSTREAM SOCIETY
Everyone is God-sent so accept them just as they are – the basic lessons of every culture that society needs to work on.
FIVE FACTS ABOUT SANAMACHA
Biggest strength: Realising that she isn’t bad or wrong.
Weakness: Depending on others for approval.
Hobby: Teaching children, especially maths.
Food: Eromba, an ethnic dish of Manipur.
Music: Sentimental songs.
