Sheethal Shyam
Birthplace:
Pondicherry, Tamil Nadu
Qualification:
Engineering in Fabrication Technology in Ship Building
Inspiration:
Laxmi Narayan Tripathi
AN EPITOME OF TRUE LEADERSHIP AND RESILIENCE
From being subjected to abuse and harassment throughout her adult life, to becoming the pioneer in educating the masses regarding the issues of the transgender community – her story is incredible and truly one of a kind!
April 1975. A family welcomed a baby boy. But things weren’t as simple as that.
Her childhood was full of ups and downs. She, rather early, knew there was something different about her. From an early childhood, she started showcasing her feminine side. She was interested in wearing her mother’s clothes and helping her cook, clean and wash. “I wasn’t Sheethal back then, I was Ganesh. I had absolutely zero interest in sports activities. I never resonated with masculinity and my brothers often beat me up for this.” Gradually, as she started getting older, she was pressurized to change her attitude to conform to societal norms, which she found truly challenging. “I was never comfortable in boys’ clothing and did not feel like participating in any masculine activities,” she remembers.
Despite everything life threw at her, Sheethal is today a well-known name in Kerala for her work for the LGBTQ community and actress of Malayalam film industry. She also writes a column in the prestigious Mathrubhumi weekly.
Test of her endurance
Being beaten up by brothers was probably normal for Sheethal. But what happened to her when she was in class 3 was not! She was sexually abused by one of her teachers who threatened her against sharing the incident with anyone. “I didn’t know what happened… I was too young to know! The worst part was I could not confide in anyone – neither my siblings nor my parents would have understood.” She started to become isolated and depressed.
It didn’t end here!
She had unwillingly applied for an engineering degree, Goa Engineering College, Panjim, Goa, and got selected. She thought it would bring her job opportunities meant for men and wasn’t keen on joining but for the family pressure! In a way, she was happy for a new beginning too and went to Goa to restart her life. There, she was raped by the secretary of the college and was threatened to be chucked out if she reported. She continued to suffer sexual abuse every now and then by her fellow classmates. “I tried to report these horrific and unspeakable incidents with the college authority and administration but sadly and expectedly no action was taken.” Overwhelmed and depressed, battling negativity, Sheethal returned home. “Everything has a limit. Sure about my gender identity, I came across several people who were confused about their gender identity. I realised I wasn’t the only one. There were other people I could relate to! I got my ears pierced and grew my hair long – my way to be myself.”
When she came back home, her family had planned for her to move to Dubai – she blatantly refused – it was the second shock for her family. The first was her overall demeanour. “My earrings and everything shocked them. And I also finally came out to them regarding my true gender identity in 1994. It was like an explosion. They threatened me, put kerosene on me and even locked me up in a dark room, all alone, for months.” The last straw was when her mother came to her and told her to commit suicide to spare them the shame and trouble. “My mother telling me to die was unimaginable. Is a dead child preferred over a transgender child?” She fled home and reached Cuddalore, a city in Tamil Nadu.
The reckoning and rise of power…
Sheethal once again found other trans-people like her and this time, she tried knowing them better. She came to know that certain of them had completed their transitions. “It was news to me… but knowing them gave me the clarity that I always needed. I knew I wanted it too.” But there was a lot to deal with before she could. “I hated what I thought most of the trans-people did – begging, sex work, congratulatory events and blessing people. But some senior members of the community suggested that I could do something better. And yes, I could – wasn’t I educated!” Several years later, in 2005, she found immense support in her husband, Kalliappan, and went through the entire transition process.
She gradually began to associate and work with several LGBT+ groups and associations. “Sivananda from NALSA Foundation contacted me. They wanted me to conduct a survey of the over 2000-member transgender community in Pondicherry. I did and the results were shocking!” She had found her career path. She was appointed to the head of the office there. She began working with the Humsafar Trust too and got to meet Laxmi Narayan Tripathi in 2003. “I was so inspired by the courage and fearlessness with which she put forth her thoughts and agendas in front of people.”
Sheethal registered the Sahodaran Community Oriented Health Development Society in 2005 and began working towards HIV/AIDS awareness in the transgender community. Her struggles made the trans-people aged 40 and plus eligible for pension amounting to Rs. 1500, when the rest of the country received Rs. 1000. “It was an achievement for the community.” She strived and finally was able to start a clinic for trans-people at the Mahatma Gandhi Medical College – the first ever in India. “Laxmi Narayan Tripathi inaugurated it and explained to the doctors and hospital staff about the way of working and providing treatment.”
She has been instrumental in bringing about change in several policies and yet says, “It is far from over, I still need to do a lot, the whole community needs to do a lot! And there is a long road ahead”.
VISION FOR THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY
She wants every trans-person to be confident of themselves and of their identity! “For society to accept us, we need to accept ourselves first. Let’s stop hiding and feeling ashamed. It is imperative for us to be fearless and fight for what is right.” She believes that if trans-people accept themselves, they’ll be better able to demand their rights and fair opportunities. “Yes, it is a long road ahead but we can’t stop taking small but consistent steps. The community is made to feel guilty and ‘not normal’ by society. But I want each one of us to live for ourselves and not for society.”
MESSAGE FOR THE MAINSTREAM SOCIETY
“We too are humans… and society should treat us the same. We too feel the same pain and blood runs through our veins too. If you can’t accept us yet, don’t. But at least don’t treat us with disgust.” Sheethal wants respect, dignity, opportunities and the right to live as per their will. She strongly suggests that the government should strive even harder to bring about policy changes to address the challenges and issues faced by the transgender community. “There won’t be any change without the government’s efforts. Policies to check homophobia and transphobia are the need of the hour and strict regulations need to be ensured to reduce the violence and discrimination.” To bring about positive change towards the aim of a gender inclusive society, she says, the leaders and people should be taught and made aware of the challenges of the marginalised community. “People don’t even know what we go through and the way they can help us. It is important to educate them in this regard so that they can better contribute.”
FIVE FACTS ABOUT SHEETHAL
Has an adopted daughter, 15-year-old Louisya.
Is married and happily settled for 17 strong years now.
Wishes to start an old-age home for the community.
Finds strength in her experience and overcoming it.
Emotions and empathy weaken her at times.
