Shivansh Thakur
Birthplace:
Gwalior, Madhya Pradesh
Residence:
Kolkata, West Bengal
Qualification:
M.Com.
Inspiration:
Partner Ranjita Sinha, leading transgender rights activist
A YOUNG MAN IN BLOOM
He found a bigger purpose in life – to become the voice of fellow transgender community members who are suppressed, scared or scarred to come out with their identity in society.
Born on 7 August 1990, Shivansh was around nine-year-old when he started growing uncomfortable in the girls’ school uniform that he was made to don every day. It was almost a task for his family to make him wear it! He was named Shalu at that time; it was in 2017 that he took the name Shivansh – it was a long journey before that.
He was bullied at school for his different behaviour, yet he liked school as he had some good friends who seemed similar to him. They talked similarly and had the same interests. When it was getting difficult at school, things were changing at home too. At times, he was beaten up or shouted at for his behaviour. As he grew up, people understood the concept of ‘tomboy’ – that gave him the leverage to behave differently from girls. He, however, was still confused because he knew he wasn’t a tomboy, something different, he felt different – but what!
“Then what rarely did I do! Alternative sexualities were discussed by Aamir Khan in his path-breaking TV show, Satyamev Jayate. What till now made people murmur was suddenly evoking emotions,” shares Shivansh. It also cleared his doubts and he realised the base of all his confusion – he now knew he was a male hidden in a female body, he identified as a transgender person! He made his friends and family watch the show which helped them understand him better – except his father, Anirudh Singh Rajawat.
Shivansh grew up in a very conservative, patriarchal family, which was extremely strict towards the girls. “Back then, I wasn’t even allowed to go up till our terrace after dusk. Going out of home without male supervision was out of the question. And in such a family, here I was wondering how to come out in open.”
Shocked, he and his family!
Growing up in times when the whole generation finds solace in Arijit Singh’s numbers, he too would often listen to him especially when he felt drained out of hiding everything. “In a way, things were easier for me as people understood me as a tomboy – they still knew me to be a girl but I didn’t necessarily have to behave like one.” To his relaxation was college – he could express himself more freely, and he did not have to wear the uniform or dress like a woman. He liked finding and meeting people like him in his college days. He, however, was shocked when his parents got him engaged to a man while still in college. His inner turmoil forced him to break it off. “It was difficult… you know our Indian patriarchal families don’t give much space to girls, especially to break off an engagement! And I didn’t yet have the courage to talk to them openly – I wasn’t close to dad and mom didn’t keep too well. Thankfully, my paternal aunt was by my side. She understood me, or at least tried to, and also advised me on things. She asked me to convince my father, but gradually. I’d always be thankful to her.” Wiping off his wet eyes, he shares that he came out to his family and told them that he was a transgender person. What entailed forced him to leave his home.
“COVID-19 didn’t let me visit home but it took away my mother and sister. To add to the pain, I was blamed for my mother’s death.” The girl he was in a relationship with also broke up with him. “The piling on emotional burden increased my depression and I was on the verge of suicide. My sister was the first one to accept me for who I am, she supported me unconditionally.” Luckily, a close friend, Ranjita, a transgender woman who is now a well-known rights activist, helped him out of it. “She made me understand my father’s turmoil, which I had completely overlooked. She also made him understand things about me and how his lack of support was killing me inside. Gradually, he too accepted me… last year (2021). It felt like a fresh breath of air. I felt light, I now knew I had someone.”
The way forward
Shivansh is working with various associations along with Ranjita, now his partner, in Kolkata. With his heart off his sleeve, he shifted to Kolkata in 2018 to learn from her and her work. He is the chosen photographer at many LGBTQ+ events in the state. He also works for the suppressed people of his community who are unable to raise their voices. With her, he too now associates with many public welfare organisations and NGOs like Gokhale Road Bandhan (GRB), the Association of Trans and Hijra in Bengal (ATHB). At the young age of 30, he started being recognised and awarded for his work. He still dreams of living his dream through a music career.
Talking about transgenders and their rights, Shivansh shares, “I was searching for jobs and finally found one. And a colleague asked me to identify as a man! This happened recently although it’s been several years since Sec 377 annulment.” He completed his post-graduation in commerce from Jiwaji University, Gwalior, yet finding a job was difficult. There’s a long way to go, he says. Family, friends and society still find it difficult to accept us, and people find it difficult to openly declare their being. “Policies are needed but more than that, education and awareness is. Policies will be easier to implement, and many difficulties we face to go along with the policies will be sorted out if society accepts us. Yes, government initiatives and schemes like Garima Greh Yojana, which shelters the transgender community, and SMILE, which provides livelihood and scholarships to transgender people, are almost a blessing to many,” he adds. By his admission, transgender men face the worst. “I may be biased,” he confesses. “I’d like to see more self-reliant transgender men being the head of families as much as any cisgender man is!”
VISION FOR THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY
“The community and the mainstream society should work together,” believes Shivansh. For years, transgender people have been outcasts, there’s a lack of awareness and so the issue is accepting them. “We as a community too have to understand their mental barriers and never force an acceptance onto them. We need to take two steps forward whenever a person from mainstream society takes one.” He is sure now that the changes are visible, sooner or later, it will be the truth.
MESSAGE FOR THE MAINSTREAM SOCIETY
“If today’s grownups are made aware of the community and the children are taught about it as a part of the curriculum, will it still be a shock? Sex education for schools was debated hard, doesn’t sex education include education about genders as well?” Other than policies, it is compassion and empathy that the transgender community looks for. The ones who found it, are doing wonders; earning and contributing to the economy not by begging and dancing but by working hard, earning a good living and making a name internationally! “It’s just love, empathy, understanding that the community seeks… And I am sure there will soon be no third gender, only people.”
“I want to start a co-operative bank teaming up with transgender-community members wherefrom easy loans can be disbursed. I also want to start an old-age home where the elderly can live with their head held high.”
FIVE FACTS ABOUT SHIVANSH
His biggest strength is his identity as a transgender man.
Meeting Arijit Singh, his favourite singer, was one of his happiest moments.
He loves playing cricket and working out in the gym.
He is an animal lover and also helps strays.
He has two lovely dogs.
