Suman Mohakud
Birthplace:
Baripada, Odisha
Residence:
Bhubaneswar, Odisha
Qualification:
B.A. (Hons.) History
Inspiration:
Aryan Pasha
TAKING THE BULL BY THE HORNS
A proud transgender man working with SAATHII and SWEEKRUTI, a pioneer in spreading awareness and being a helping hand to transgenders, he has actively proved to be a vocal activist working tirelessly for the upliftment of his community.
“I am proud to say that I am a transgender man,” he begins. The long journey to where he proudly stands today, however, has been full of struggles, not the least for self-discovery.
Though born a girl in 1991, he always believed himself to be a boy. In school, he was expected to wear the girls’ uniform but he felt more comfortable in boys’ attire. “I was about six-year-old when I realised I was more comfortable playing sports that boys enjoyed… I had zero interest in what girls did. I was different.” These thoughts confused him and caused anxiety and frustration.
“I remember well, in class 6, I changed over to a new school where I was strictly told to wear the girls’ uniform.” Until then, in the previous school, he wore a boys’ uniform. Although he did not want to conform to the dress code, he realised it was important to be educated. He tried his best to find a way out though. “I used to pack a frock in the bag and leave home wearing a shirt and pants and close to the school, I would slip into the frock. It went on like this for some time… when a few schoolmates noticed and started teasing me. The ridicule and discrimination were too much for me to handle at such a young age… I started feeling depressed and stopped going to school,” he remembers with a sad smile. When his mother confronted him, he confessed that his friends teased him regarding the uniform. She then went to school and convinced his friends and others that although he liked to wear boys’ dresses, he was indeed a girl. “That way I managed school till about class 10. When it rains it pours. Problems started when I joined higher secondary. I found it difficult to cope up with the strict dress codes, so I switched to distance learning.”
It was during these times that Suman kept debating about himself. “As I was growing up, I saw a few more people like me near our area who loved to dress up as boys, but gradually started wearing girls’ clothes and even got married. I even tried out my elder sister’s dress once and it was a suffocating and miserable experience. It was as if I was imprisoned and never wore it again. Thus somehow, I finished my graduation from RDS Mahavidyalaya, through distance learning.”
Coming out to the family… a bold step forward
He was weathering the storm – unable to tell his family as to why he preferred dressing the way he did and added to it was fighting the pressure to get married. “During those times I mostly kept to myself, noticing everything as I tried to figure out myself.”
And then the Internet changed it all for him. “When I first saw Aryan Pasha in a YouTube interview talking about his journey, I was awestruck. He is so inspiring… after seeing his journey I for the first time knew there were more like me.” Motivated, Suman, 28, came out to his family. “I told my family that they should accept the fact that I was a man trapped in a female body.” Initially, his family tried to reason with him arguing that it was because of the videos he watched and asked him to wait it out. “My family tried to understand but couldn’t accept it.”
He tried to convince them by showing various videos of transmen but to no avail. He says, “The place I come from in Odisha is a tribal belt and most of them are neither aware of the transgenders nor are they able to understand their issues”.
The reckoning…
“I remember the date very well. It was 12 March 2018. I was feeling quite depressed when a friend called. I told him the problems I was going through. He asked me to meet him in Bhubaneswar, where a lot of gender-related meetings are held. I attended one such meeting and met several transgender people, interacted with them and for the first time I felt a sense of belonging that had been missing till now.”
There, he met people who were ready to listen to him – a rather welcoming change for him. “I could openly talk about my feelings, about what I was going through.” That was his first interaction with Solidarity and Action Against the HIV Infection in India (SAATHII). Later, he moved out to Bhubaneswar.
Suman says he feels at peace now and is in a love relationship with a transwoman. Although he is disappointed that his family is not with him, he is confident that they will come around eventually. Now as part of the organisation, he reaches out to people like him. The organisation works in Puri, Bolangir, Dasukhda, Bhadrak and more such areas in Odisha, helping the transgender community through the pre-transition phase. He agrees that awareness is rather low despite many schemes and there’s a huge scope of things to be done and undone. “When I went to have my Aadhar card altered, I had to explain to them what a transgender man was. The removal of Section 377 has certainly helped remove the ‘criminal’ tag that was thrust upon the community but a lot more awareness is needed. Nobody should need to explain their transgenderism like a male or female doesn’t have to explain what a man or woman is. That level of acceptance is needed.”
He openly came out in the media in August 2020 as a transgender man and took part in reality shows and TV interviews, which helped other transgender people to get in touch with him and helped others struggling with their gender identity. This activism has hugely impacted the visibility of the transgender community and even led to the Odisha police calling for transgender people to be recruited into the force.
While he grew his social activism, he was also working and saving for his SRS. “I received immense support from some organisations and people. It wouldn’t have been possible had I been alone, but it would have been lovely if my family had accepted me. Home’s always a home, right!”
VISION FOR THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY
He wants the community to give utmost importance to their education. This will help them lead a quality life that they are worthy of. The seniors who have faced the worst should guide and mentor the younger ones into education; the younger ones should focus on education and employability now that laws have changed and some corporations too welcome transgender employees. “The future is bright as I see society getting more inclusive because the younger generation is much more accepting in nature.”
MESSAGE FOR THE MAINSTREAM SOCIETY
“Treat us like you would treat any other cisgender – with basic respect and empathy. We too are creatures of God and have endured a lot of hardships to survive… what we seek is acceptance. Once accepted by society, fair opportunities and other forms of support will automatically happen.”
To the families of the transgender people, he has a strong message. “Help, rather than force, them to complete their education and guide them towards decent careers. When we say society lacks awareness, we talk not only about urban India. In fact, the opposite. It is the rural India, the tribal India and the superstitious India where awareness needs to reach – which can happen only with central and state government and regional administration’s support,” says Suman.
FIVE FACTS ABOUT SUMAN
His greatest strength is his ability to listen.
He is very emotional.
He loves mutton.
He loves slow-paced soul-stirring songs.
He wants to work for the community and society at large.
