Urmi Jadhav
Birthplace:
Mumbai, Maharashtra
Residence:
Mumbai, Maharashtra
Qualification:
Class 10
Inspiration:
Journeys of senior members of the transgender community
THERE’S LIGHT DESPITE ALL DARKNESS
Research Associate at the Humsafar Trust, treasurer at TWEET Foundation and Co-Founder of Dancing Queens, she is a well-known transgender activist. With her work as an individual and in association with Garima Greh and Sanjeevani PLHIV Support Group, she puts in all her efforts towards the upliftment of the community.
The medium used to bring transgender issues to light doesn’t matter if there are conversations and policy implementations, she says. A member of the Maharashtra Transgender Social Welfare Board, she narrates her story.
The activist, born in the late 70s, shares that reaching where she is today wasn’t easy. Like others in the community, she too has faced violence, abuse, harassment, molestation and social discrimination. “In the beginning, when I would reach out to community members with awareness on HIV/AIDS, use of condoms and staying safe, not many liked me. I had to struggle to make them understand the importance of using protection. The awareness came about gradually, and they began looking at things differently. Now, they know they have other options besides begging, sex work and badhai,” says Urmi. She is proud of the work she is doing as it is helping shape the community and giving transgender people the courage to come out of the shadows.
“I was brilliant in my studies but had to drop out of school because of hate and abuse. If I hadn’t faced physical assault in school and if fellow students wouldn’t have attempted to rape me in the washroom, I would have studied and become a doctor or lawyer.’’
Complaining to teachers was futile because no one was willing to listen to her. Though she was a victim, she was blamed for not behaving like other boys. These incidents, loneliness and her ignorance about gender identity made things foggy. “This is not what I want others in the community to face.”
Strangely, her grandmother, Sumitra Jadhav, was by her side. “But many don’t have this privilege. Her support enabled me to follow my passion for dance.” Urmi joined a dancing group where she met Abina Aher, Madhuri Sarode and others. She started performing the traditional Maharashtrian dance, Lavani.“My grandmother, I called her Maa… Maa always guided me to dress up to the best. She used to say, ‘aaj beauty spot nahi lagaya (you didn’t apply beauty spot today)’.”
However, the money Lavani helped her earn wasn’t enough. Like many others, she too had to turn to begging and sex work. At the same time, she was partly associated with the Humsafar Trust. In 1999, she applied for a full-time position at the Trust and cleared the interview with flying colours and has been there ever since. “I had thought I would have to live in the shadows and fear my entire life, but it changed everything for me. Now that I am known as a social activist, I do everything in my power to get justice for the community. We are the victims, not the perpetrators. We are constantly surrounded by anxiety and fear of the police while using public transport or even washrooms.”
If the transgender community is given equal rights, aren’t deprived of necessities like food and shelter, things would be different, she believes. “If it’s okay to invite them to auspicious occasions to seek their blessings, why is sitting with them, interacting with them or empathising with them not okay? People want to know what our childhood was like. But why don’t they want to know how we live or what are our fears.”
Acceptance matters
“For people who have faced countless rejections their entire life, lack of acceptance can be demotivating and a roof over their heads called home can be comforting.” Urmi was thrown out of her house by her stepmother and siblings after her grandmother died. “I don’t need more Urmis.”
She says it was not just her family who hadn’t treated her right. “Despite a formal tenancy agreement, my landlord asked me to vacate the flat without notice just because I don’t conform to the binary gender norms society has created.” This incident forced her to go back and live in the slums. “Such inhuman behaviour denies members of the community access to hygienic accommodations or dignified professions. Then society also dares to stereotype transgender persons as sex workers and beggars. How will we become a part of when you don’t let us stay in the same community as you?”
She has another valid question. “Our own families discriminate against us, put us through a lot, but don’t mind approaching us when they need money. When they can accept the money, we earn from begging or sex work, why can’t they accept us? This widespread derision not only breaks us but also makes us question our existence. If you can’t take us, you can’t ask us to support you in need.”
She says no one has the right to point fingers at transgender people and their means of livelihood, especially when they are left with only a handful of options. “We are trapped in the vicious circle created by society and our own families. If you don’t want to accept us, we will make peace with it but shutting us out of the inheritance will no longer work. We are part of mainstream society, and you can’t deny it as it is people like you who have given us birth.’’
She sees a sliver of hope with some signs of change “but things get complicated because of the double face that society wears. So, instead of asking us to change, why don’t they change and accept us for who we are? After all, it is the society that fails to accept the creation of God. Unless they want to bridge the gap that they have themselves created, we will not grow.”
VISION FOR THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY
Queer talks don’t easily find a way into society’s mainstream narrative. A platform for discussion, sensitisation and job reservation should be provided to dodge the hurdles and take things a notch higher. She says the idea of starting Dancing Queens – a platform that gives dancers a chance to showcase their talent without discrimination – is part of a broader spectrum.
“Even if the mainstream community does not consider us human, it doesn’t matter because we know what we are. We have the right to breathe in the same air as everyone else. The struggle we face is because of the pressures created by society, and to evade the charade, awareness among the masses needs to spread.”
MESSAGE FOR THE MAINSTREAM SOCIETY
“Being transgender is not a disease; it’s who we are. Society needs to understand this. Even if we fall outside the male-female binaries society has created, it doesn’t mean we get the right to discriminate. When society can invite us to bless newly born kids and newlyweds, what stops our parents from accepting us? We don’t like begging or doing sex work for survival, but we have no other choice because society has closed its doors on us. If given a chance, we are capable of any and everything. Break the chains of long-held prejudices and welcome us with open arms. By being curious to know what our childhood was like, take a step towards helping us grow.”
FIVE FACTS ABOUT URMI
She is a big fan of the ’90s music.
A community member has given her the name she is known by.
Her strength is being vocal about her thoughts.
She is very trusting of people, a trait she sees as her weakness.
Her favourite food is fish.
